Planet Ordoga


Ok, so there was this tower… they found Shia’Caas

Fought Bard and …. that mean guy… Skrillex?

Ohh the Juggernaut was there!

Wild Stallions

So Bill and Ted decided that while Socrates, Napoleon, and Freud bicker about how to stop WWII they would go check out the Lab of Professor Frankenstein. They eventually kill 3 monsters, 2 scientists and then lock the last scientist in the freezer.

They then enter the Matrix and find out about the vast conspiracy that effects the artificial world they are on. Apparently Caas, and Shia’Caas have a plan. A plan that involves DEATH!

They get the Floor plan and decide to escape. Except they are now in NORMANDY WII, and have to fight an uphill battle against a 3 pill-boxen and a giant death turret designed by doctor doom.
Bill gets knocked out and Ted defeats the evil robots. But now there is a timer. 45 seconds?!?!?! That is most UN-righteous in the amount of time needed to escape. But thanks to Ted’s training from Bruce Lee, he scoops up Bill and they escape in the nick of time!

Now they are sliding down a giant d8 that is 9 floors up and have to survive the fall! TUBULAR!
Except Gravity, Ted’s evil ex-girlfriend has decided to get all Gnarly and Rude. Bill thwarts gravity by Piloting a golden golem and Ted slides down a not-so-sith-wyrm like he’s at water country, and he has some FUN!

Then Skeletor heals them a little and the ride away on Falcor!

(Grade: F-, get this signed by your parents)

The Final Countdown. (GOB Music)

You have a week. Your now entering day 4.

I have decided that after the “Citadel”, I’d prefer to… hand over my GMing to someone else. I don’t feel I can really complete this Epic campaign. I have a lot of stressors outside the game, and while I enjoy GMing I am kind of tiring of Star Wars (at least from a GM perspective). It’s not really any player individually or even the collection of players. I simply tire of the genre, rules, books, indexes and complexities of high level combat.

I’m not saying I’d never ever go back to it, but from a GM perspective I feel overloaded. I thoroughly enjoy storytelling, social interaction, plot, and having the party derail my master plan with their random whims, crazy plans, and wonderful interpretations of their characters. That last bit wasn’t sarcasm. It might sound like it, but it wasn’t. Luke keeps wanting to get rid of Max Gentlemen, but personally I like the idea that one of the party members is a Jersey Shore wannabe.

Combat I enjoy, but it grates on me a bit when it gets convoluted. Every time we stop to check a rulebook, or have to use the index, a part of me wants to scream like Annie from community season 2 “Cooperative Calligraphy” ( ). I don’t really hate it that much, but there are just too many rules for 1 person to know. Too many rules with several different interpretations. Some rules seem to contradict each other. While others are so obscure that the fact I know them kinda bothers me. I’m not saying I don’t want to play, but it’s way to big for me to GM. At least at this point in my life.

The minute I looked at Ryan’s “Batman” type character sheet plan, I knew I was walking down a dark, dark path. A path that leads to me, sitting alone with a bunch of computer screens in a shadowy room trying to pretend I don’t envy superman’s ice breathe. Eventually viewing the players like a bunch of Penguins, Riddlers, and hot redheads wearing green with poison kisses. I really don’t want to view you guys that way. But I also know that if keep trying to be the Dark Knight, I’ll eventually end up the Joker (Min Lo is a reflection of my inability to be a dark protector). The madness is already starting to sink in.

I don’t want to discourage Ryan from living his dream. But I know as a GM, I would. I’d want to kill him. For a thousand reasons, none of which involve him being awesome or powerful or batman-like. I would just view him as a giant time waster, and ruiner of the ohh so precious ‘suspension-of-disbelief’. Not only that, I’d view him as encouraging others to follow that path.
One Batman terrifies me, I don’t need 4-6 alternate reality versions of him.

Once again, this is simply me as a GM. As a player, Batman would get on my nerves a tad, but alas he is the GM’s problem. And honestly, as a player I will not condemn you for playing him. I might throw out words like ‘power-gamer’ ( ) or ‘munchkin’ ( ) or ‘Meta-gamer’ ( ) or Twinky ( synonymous with power-gamer but sounds less cool and alluding to homosexual pimping out of oneself… I will forever use this term). Once again, a joke, but with a grain of truth and contempt. I will never stop other players being different from me, but I’m more likely to plead the 1st not the 5th when I see something that I disagree with in a game. This may make me unpopular, but I’d rather be honest and hated than loved and lying. After my pun or slur is said, I’ll likely go back to doing what I do and try to ignore the things I don’t like. I respect your right to make a killing machine of infinite death power, but I also expect you to respect my right to say I think it’s gay.

If you think my ways are lame or retarded feel free to tell me. But please keep in game slurs to a 3 sentence maximum. It slows the game down, reducing the amount of monsters you can slay for XP and loot you can gain. You may have to wait 3-4 more games if you go out of your way to demoralize players at the table to reach god-hood. You may even causing a ‘Meta-Enemy" to form. Not with me, but with people that agree with whoever you assault in life. I’ve seen this happen in other aspects of reality it’s called politics.

I like the Batman concept. A dark animal totem type defender of the innocent. A guy that uses the darkness against itself. Shadowy justice. Just remember that other than Superman, most of the Justice League kinda find Batman to be a jerk. “When you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you.” a quote by a guy I don’t like, but non-the-less reminds me of Min-Lo’s madness.

I think I got derailed… Ohh yeah. GMing.
I’m going to create my own system. With a rulebook that has less than 15 pages. A character sheet that is one page. With a big space for you to draw a picture of your hero. Yeah…

Alternatively, I’m also considering encouraging players to play SW Minis but with representational pieces. I love minis so much. It’s raw tactics with a bit of strategy. If we could get all the rules and piece stats we could play it without needing all the cards and pieces. I love that game. To me, that is the place to power game, and power game I shall.

In summary. I will GM till the Citadel is taken. After that, I’d like the be a player, at least in Saga-Edition. I will eventually make a rulebook, play test it, and then start my own campaign.

Thank You for listening to me rant.


The suffering!

Yeah, so you guys found an arboretum. And um… invisible guys. Max got smacked. Ryan nearly rage quited. Buck got hurt pretty bad. I think Andy got a tad shanked. Jon remained relatively (to Max or Buck) unscathed. I hear theres a vacuum room. Unfortunately you all need air like every couple MINUTES! Plus, your fleshy non-hardshell organs and blood and such can’t handle a little decompression and lack of atmosphere. SIGH! If only Min-Lo was here to help. But Sith Wyrms lack the combat tactics and mathematical precision to wreak havoc as efficiently and SAFELY as a Given. I guess you’ll have to find a way to get there without him. I’m sure it will be SATISFYING. Just ask Ryan how satisfied he was last game. :) cackle cackle cackle!!!! CHORTLE!

Hmm... stuff... DragonCon was fun
Sneaking and Stuff

I admit this post is late from a certain perspective, you know like the Jedi being evil

Ok, so you guys snuck through the sewer. Into a junkyard… and then dodged the Orwellian 1984 style security. HOORAY! The thought police cant get you.

Then you snuck into a building. Got the people to leave. SNuck past the gold Golems.
Then Min Lo created a distraction of amazing magnitude. It was glorious. You should have been there. Really I mean, befriending a bunch of sentient Sith Wyrms (not really sith) and convincing them to join the cause of the players through an eloquent speech that in no way made Min lo look like supreme commander of the army of a bunch of Galactic Dragons that hated Caas and Shia’Caas. Not that one would LIE or DECIEVE that they did that because they were sure getting eaten would totally not help the whole mess of whatever we are doing here. It’s not like Min Lo proved his sincerity by pointing out that he is not like the “soft-skin” servants he employs to fool Caas. I mean sure one could meta-game that they knew all this, but that would be meta-gaming! Plus, theres a good chance Min Lo just told the truth. OK not a GOOD chance, but he isn’t exactly chewy like you guys, at best he’d be like a tooth-pick. Maybe he found a sith-wyrm mind-control orb? So many possibilities, so little likely likely-hood Min Lo will tell you the WHOLE story.

Anyways, you reached the top floor. Now your stuck behind an energy field, and plexy-like-glass, with a BIG OL A.T.M.A with a golden golem staring at you. Did I mention you lack force powers due to little golden gecko like creatures… CLIFFHANGER ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!


Onions Have Layers

So the party fought some agents of Caas!

These guys where tough. MEGA TOUGH. Like Megatron… ok not THAT tough, but I’m fairly certain at least 2 party members collapsed in the battle, maybe 3. Things got a little fuzzy. But they did prevail! (1 of the enemies fought a good chunk of the battle with like 20 HP hahahaha).

They also convinced Drogan and his men to join in the fight to end the game (whatever that MEANS?). His two Elite Troopers Roan and Sloan seem pretty loyal to the cause. Thelonius and Thadius the 2 INQUISITOR type guys seem a little reluctant but WHATEV, they need to go along with it for now or they explode. Slith joined the cause as well. A little RAKATAN (or pre-Rakatan?)named Slith who can use the force joined with them as well although it was pointed out Slith will not explode. Slith is skilled with Mechanics and Engineering as well. He is willing to MODIFY any gear you have but is a complete PACIFIST. Don’t expect him to fight.

You guys then saved the water purification plant.
The Greens have joined. They are nice. Very good at organizing things.

The Game! You just lost the GAME~!

The Amazing Epic of Epic Epicocity!

Act 1
The Rules of the Game

(This is incase anybody MISSED the first couple minutes)

The sky is in a perpetual twilight of a gross yellow with undertones of green that remind you of the sky during a tornado. About a couple miles away from the city is a plateau. At the end of the plateau is a large rock. Standing atop that rock, is Kara and Dylan.

DYLAN: We have to be careful when dealing with the others.. Despite our superior streangth and knowledge people don’t like being pushed around by things like fate or gods or even other people.

KARA: Even when it’s for their own good?

DYLAN: Quite often

KARA: Makes sense

DYLAN (confused): Many people would disagree with you on that. Most societies create laws to pro..tect.. people.. from themselves…

The reason Dylan’s words are dragged out is because Kara shoved him off the cliff around “protect”

In a puff of black feathers Dylan re-appears next to her atop the rock.

KARA: Did you like that?


KARA: But it was for your own good

DYLAN: Even if that was true YOUR MISSING THE POINT

KARA: Some people would disagree with you on that.

*She walks away towards the awakening party, and Dylan annoyed puffs into a feather cloud.


After that Min Lo left for the badlands filled with poisonous gas, and darkside monsters. Bard went into the Mountains to meet some friends that “crashed” there. And Kara left to deal with Dylan and Jonathan.

The party was instructed to check out the city.

You must succeed at 5 skill challenges before failing at 3.

So far you succeeded at 3:

1) The Barracks
In the barracks the party found that the structure was bigger on the inside than the outside.
They also found some archaic weapons. The party was also ambushed!

They fought a gaggle of guardian robots led by a jedi-like man known as Cadrene. After defeating Cadrene, he initiated the ‘self-destruct’ sequence of the barracks. Fortunately, the party was able to successfully convince Cadrene to de-activate it. He then revealed that there is a ‘game’ between Caas and Shia-Caas. It is a little unclear how LONG the game has been going on, but according to Cadrene, it has been going on longer than he can remember. Cadrene has decided to assist the party in ENDING THE GAME. Although it seems a little unclear on how to do that.

Because the Party Successfully completed that challenge, they now have access to controlling the dumb but powerful BLUE GOLEMS. They also have access to some security cameras, and the 2 guardian droids (minions).

2)The Book of Shia-Caas
When attempting to enter the courthouse the party noticed a hunter carrying a gawdy darkside book. They where able to chase the super fast hunter and save him AND the book.
Reviewing the book may help you understand SOME things. Chase Greenleaf has also decided to help the party.

3)The Courthouse
The party stood trial for their right to gain the White Gauntlet.
They defeated the prosecution and gained 3 allies known as the “The Tribunal”
They can now use the Derriphans as well.
The White Gauntlet allows the characters to maintain their force abilities even when in areas or places that negate the force.

They also found IVAN the green and pink derriphan and an ancient claymour.


Hello Mortals!

I am instituting some changes. WHY? You seditiously ask me. To keep the ball rolling (and by extension dice). To keep the suspension of disbelief floating. To keep the players in the game and paying attention.

1st)Rulebooks, and other source material.

When you can use them:
-You can check them before the session starts.
-You can check them after the session ends.
-You can even check them at the mid-game 10 minute break.
-Your character is dead-damage threshold dead, and you didn’t have a force point to stabilize.

When you can’t
-See the 1st list, then apply liberally in any area not covered by aforementioned list.
-Lather Rinse repeat.

If I being the GM saying, the “The Rule is so and so” you can protest. But once I’ve listened to your pathetic uneducated pleas I will make my choice. The game will move on. Unless you make a “Rules Challenge”

You state that you are willing to challenge the the GM then and there to a wager. You are also stating that you know the rules so well that you willing to risk punishment. That you KNOW beyond a reasonable doubt (enough to get a man convicted of murder) that you are right. The GM will then pull out the book. And the challenger will search for evidence as well. NOONE ELSE.
There are 3 possible results:

1)The GM wins (This is far more likely)
In the case of the GM winning.
-The GM Ruling Stands
-The Player and the 2 players immediately adjacent suffer the wraith of the GM. The GM can then choose to penalize XP, steal a force point from each of them, knock them 1 step down the track, or in the case of a skill challenge, accrue them 1 failure. (Or a combination if the player is flagrantly wrong to the point of contempt)
-The accusing player then gets a strike against him (3 failures before 1 success per game results in the player losing all his force points or losing the XP for that encounter depending on which seems worse. If the player seems completely negligent to the point of delusion they can loose both)

2)The Player Wins (I don’t see why I’m putting this here but I will condescend to the concept of defeat for the sake of argument)
In the case of the Player winning
-The Ruling is turned.
-The entire party gets more XP (depending upon how wrong the GM was: the character level of the players is considered less based on this scale (2 if the GM is slightly wrong, 4 if the GM is far off, 6 if the GM is ludicrously wrong)
-Any strikes that player has accrued prior to that are wiped clean.

3)It is discovered both the GM and the players are wrong. (Still more likely than #2)
-Ruling is adjusted
-The Player gets a strike
-The Player is considered 1 higher the challenge level for that encounter
-The adjacent players loose a force point

The safer, less risky choice to the Rules Challenge is to wait till the game is over or the 10 minute break. Or bring it up before the next session on Obsidian Portal, call me, or right before the next game (but please attempt to do so in that order)

If you can prove me wrong on something that affected the party negatively. The party will get the XP equal to an enemy that is the average party member level.

Give me your phones, computers, and any other electronic device at the beginning of the session.

This is to prevent people from playing Angry Birds, or looking at their facebook, or texting their love interest or being distracted in some other way. I understand that this changes if your wife or parents call, then you can have the phone back for the duration of the call and it must be handed back to me.

3rd Major Rule
Combat Time and Skill Challenge Time
You have 18 seconds to decide what you are going to do on your turn. This is 3 times longer than how long a turn actually lasts. If you don’t voice what you are doing, you revoke your turn.

THE GM has 12 seconds for 1 enemy, 16 seconds per enemy for 2, 24 seconds per enemy for 3, 30 seconds per enemy for 4, 36 per enemy for 5, and 48 per enemy for 6 or more.

This may be adjusted for newer players.

The Beginning of the End of Sound

Hello MORTALS! The all mighty Jedirockstar has risen from the ashes of rehab. But we all know that rehab is for quitters. And quitters never win. So I shall never quit. For I am a winner! Yes, a powerful being of superb skill and wit. No GM mistake goes unnoticed under my watch, no missed ATTACK of OPPORTUNITY goes un-internally laughed at, no lame SKILL CHALLENGE goes unaccounted for! Yes, there shall be a reckoning for the sins of the GM known as “Drayken”. He is a wolf in sheeps clothing. He bedazzles you with his “notes” and “plot-consistencies” but do not be fooled! He is an apostate to the true way. He seduces you with colorful characters, and path choices. But does he know how to spin an un-unravenable web of deception that keeps you guessing?!?!?! No, he simply insists on leading you down a dark path that leads to the ultimate player sin…. Meta-Gaming.

Yes, we all cringed when we hear that word. But the word often is misused. Leading you to believe anyone could be meta-gaming at any time. He would even like you yourself to believe that you are doing this despicable act sometimes. I see the paranoia… the fear… the self-doubt. Yes, the charlatan known as “Drayken” is known for many sins. The worst is possibly the fact that he cannot and will not allow you the satisfaction of becoming the true heroes you could become!

But you all remember a time. A long time ago, in a role-playing game far far from gay…

Return of the Hawkeye

John Baity has been running amok in the Star Wars universe. Continuity is being retconned into oblivion. Characters are losing battles to over-powered unevenly matched squads of killing machines. Min-Lo is forced to lying not because he wants to… no… because he has to. but amidst the chaos and swirling vortex of entropy known as “ORDOGA” there is hope. The once fallen JEDIROCKSTAR has returned after his training in the Platypus Sector. With the new knowledge ammassed from his studies, he plans to bring balance to force known as creativity. He plans to put an end to the terrible noisecore meets freebird travesty of a tapestry that will be forever known as the “Semi-sweet Times”. But will our hero succeeed? The party has grown complacent with the mediocrity of Drayken’s reign. They have forgotten the true purpose of Role-Playing Games. Some say it is because we lack social skills and could never find a girlfriend. Some say it is an escapist diversion used to distract us from the suffering that is ‘reality’. Others say it is a game used to brainwash the youth of america and turn them into homicidal neo-wizards. But our hero knows that this is not the truth. Where else could you get a wrestling fanatic like John, a grumpy old italian jeweler like Luke, a wide-eyed Trombonogropher like Ryan, and a sweet gentle warrior-poet like Andy to join together and take on the monumental task of putting with Trevor’s half-baked lies/cherry-picking-half-truths/deceptive proofiness based propaganda and Buck’s innability to choice faster than a Yarin with Rodian Jungle-Rot running the Boston Marathon. You see, the truth is that it’s about unity, teamwork, and the hope that if you get enough people to play, they won’t notice you steal their booze and cheese.

(Imagine all that floating upwards getting smaller)

A new foe arises

Upon returning into Minstrelix airspace, it had been discovered that a crime wave had begun. The last time something like this had happened, it was a misdirect Malice had used to distract people from his early attempt to rebuild a body for himself. This time the tactic was being employed by a sinister group that had an alliance with Malice. This was also the group responsible for the creation of the Chain shades. The Togorian creatures that wielded massive hooked chains with the force. They also were the group that had created the massive network of tunnels that ran underneath the city.

The group was the Night Feeders. They feed upon the force energy that is within living creatures. They were the ones that had provided Malice with the virus that makes for sensitive creatures into Night Feeders. The party met the group at a public park that was at the time vacant. They proposed an alliance similar to the one that Malice had made with them. If they got what they wanted they would stay out of the public eye,but in exchange they wanted the body of Strythus. They revealed that Strythus’ body was a key that they needed to open up a gateway that would give them access to the clone army remnant that Malice had built. To them they said that the clones would make a great food source and they would not need to feed upon humans for generations. If the party refused they claimed that they would utilize the remaining energy of the gravity sling, to fling planet Ordoga into Felucia. The inhabitants are force sensitives and would make an adequate food source for them instead.

The party refused and they departed with the threat, that things would go from bad to worse until they got what they wanted. At that they vanished.

After this the party met a new recruit named Roar Grr. They joined forces to try and take down a local terrorist known as scorpion. At the same time Ploon was challenged to a dual by the swordsman that had previously been working with Denray Clowtu(Twi’lek drug ring leader) his name was Dar’kel.

Ploon lost the dual, while the rest of the party tried to raid a warehouse that Scorpion had used for bomb making. Although the party was unable to defeat Scorpion, they did do damage to his operation. Since Scorpion had broken a deal he had made with Dar’kel previously, Darkel ran in and saved the party. In the process of the battle he cut off one of Scorpions hands.

With that Dar’kel left the party saying that Malice was never a name, but it was a title, and he intended to take that title for himself. The previous Malice influenced the Lost Brother more towards outright genocide on a massive scale, while Dar’kel intends to influence him in a more focused direction if he could assume the mantle. At that he departed off into the night.


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